Home Diaries Happy Valentine’s Day – Episode IV

Happy Valentine’s Day – Episode IV

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The sky was grey.  Vehicles were torching our ways. The chills of winter winds went right past my ears, whispering, “Hug her”. It was perfect. For some reason, I felt I stood below perfection where the universe conspires for every cupid’s arrow. I conjure an arrow hitting me and in some moments, I watch her lumber beside me. I felt a surge of adrenaline. I had to hug her. I had to touch her before she fades away like a morning dream. Soon our world would somersault and she would be soaked in a reflection of science. The figurative distance would soon overtake the literal one and Facebook will continue to remain on tip of a finger.

I stopped. She looked at me. She didn’t look curious. I felt she wanted something from me. She gently touched me and asked, “What’s wrong?”. Everything. For the first time, she appeared beautiful. The moon was slowly illuminating her face and she was emanating a thin patch of brilliance. I got an urge to kiss her. I kept staring at those lips, it appeared like a cupid’s bow and hunted me to intoxication. But then, I held my grip abstaining myself from that strange audacity and looked away. It was wrong, someone was waiting for me to return hostel and plan a valentine date. So, I had to plunge away from that sensual moment.

“Nothing, I just feel… nothing,” I said. She gave a disappointing sigh. We walked slowly.  She was walking beside me and for the first time, she was silent. I felt something was missing. “You know, you didn’t propose me,” she said after a long silence. I froze. She continued, “You forgot the propose day!” Valentine week was at its end. It sprouted as a rose and shriveled therein. I glanced at her, I conjured myself kneeling before her and holding that refill needled rose and said, “I love you Sukirti” Oh No! Did I say that loud? She threw me a look and said, “I wish I could believe.” I really did say that. My heart was pounding furiously and I felt a strange sense of accomplishment. A part of me wanted her to hold on and scream out, “Believe it!” and yet the other part kept questioning, “Why did I do that?” A war was triggered.

Read Also: Happy Valentine’s Day – Episode I

We reached Maitighar. We stopped. She was trying to say something. I kept my ears straight, I felt like I knew what she had to say. She was stammering. Please say something- Both warriors in me pleaded to surrender before my sobriety gets impeached. “So, it’s a goodbye then,” she said. “I’ll go a little further,” I said immediately before realizing she asked to leave. But then she gave a winning smile, as if she wanted the same.

It really feels strange when suddenly you realize you just forgot the track of time. That bliss, that moment, that trance they just feel like taking a detour to next time dimension. And there it was, after all our evening’s together; our final eve. Why there always has to be an end? Our friendship was not at the end, I knew. But That wasn’t the stake I was worried about. Who would I call for eve walk? Who would I sit next to on that stone chair? Who would ever challenge me?

“I have to go from here,” I mustered all my courage to overcome those strange feelings. “Okay,” she sounded low. We paused. The whole world did. She came right to me, spread her arms around me. I stiffened. I staggered back slowly out of confusion. But, she held me tightly, and pulled me towards her. It took me a moment to understand what’s happening. Then my senses told me, “Hug back, you dumbo.” I was trembling, when I wrapped my arms around her shoulder. I took in a huge sigh. The warmth of her cocooned hug made me feel whole. I didn’t want to pull back, but then she said, “I will miss you, Suvam,” and she ran. Even in that darkness, I could see her moping her eyes as she ran like a maniac.

Read Also: Happy Valentine’s Day – Episode II

2:45 am

She hung up the phone. It was already late. She had a flight at 1 pm that day. She would be soaring up to the sky, and with her, a part of me would be trafficked. I felt terrible.

“I accepted the request. I too had no idea, how my life was gonna change. We met like a normal being but special things aren’t planned for, they just happen. She came in without knocking at my door and when she is leaving she is keeping the door ajar. I wonder if I should lock it or wait for her to return. And when she’s gone, I could pour millions of sentiments with different possible permutations. But I know for a fact, they’ll all converge to one thing: I miss her.” I continued typing the eulogy. “Phew! I can’t write.” I said to myself. “She is leaving!”, I whispered and closed my laptop.

10:00 am

It was valentine’s day. It was supposed to enthrall my romanticism. But I was at the airport. She was about to check in. She was covered by shawls where I wanted to rest my head, while hugging her. Her cheeks were red just as the Tika on her forehead and she was talking to her parents. Why did she look so beautiful? I watched her give serious smiles to repress her sadness and eyes just about to flood. It was a warm day, yet I was shivering. My heart was unusually heavy. I felt I had something to say. She was glancing at me and her eyes kept asking something. I went towards her.

“I don’t know what I should say, but please be careful. I will miss you Sukirti Dahal,” I said. I wanted to hug her. I didn’t. She just nodded pursing her lips. Her eyes still asking something, she rolled her trolley and checked in. I pondered, if I should scream, “I love you Sukirti.” But, I had a date waiting for me.

Read Also: Happy Valentine’s Day – Episode III

I trudged back to the hostel and typed on messenger, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Sukirti. I love you.” I pondered a while and edited the text, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Sukirti. :* ” and pressed the send button.

#Some_feelings_are_just_meant_to_understand

By Prajwal Pradhan

The writer is currently pursuing Bachelor degree in Computer Engineering at IOE, Pulchowk. An English-language enthusiast, he has a keen interest in writing. He is eager to learn new skills and is trying to keep busy with his hobbies.

(Note: This is the last part of the 4-episodes-long story this Valentine’s season. We hope you enjoyed reading the series. 🙂 )